Confusion – the state of mind of Ethiopian relationship!
When you ask a simple question like “How old are you?”, then don’t be surprised by various responses you will get from fellow habeshoch. At best you will get “hmm, I’m “xx” and smile! True, in the Habesha hemisphere age might not be a good gauge to evaluate deeper elements like relationships. Mind you, by relationship, I’m not appealing only a ‘relationship of opposite sexes’. But, if I give scores to relationships, the intimate relationship ( … between lovers …) might get a high score ( in my score board).
The habitual and casual things we do, (like having multiple birthdates, change of names and other obscure elements) for the sake of survival, creeps on to our life when we attempt to live a “meaningful righteous life”.
Innately we have the desire to live a ‘righteous’ life; but, unknowingly (or knowingly) we have crossed the boundary of “right” – because we have to survive, because we have to help family, because everybody is doing it, because…
I, by no means, have the desire to judge and criticize the various ways of living arrangement most habeshoch practices. But, when I see the same people pass judgment and criticism on others, it literally disgusts me. More importantly; when double-standard seems to be the “norm” amongst us Ethiopians, the stench is unbearable.
All the craziness aside, at least people deserve to have a ‘truthful’ life. After all, isn’t the Biblical Paradigm that teaches us to “… come as we are?...”. For someone who is aware of his weaknesses, who is aware of the “imperfect” life he has led, there is no room to arrogantly echo “his way or the high way” adage.
Furthermore, if one chooses to consciously conceal some elements of her identity, I wouldn’t want to marry her, I wouldn’t want to be her friend, I wouldn’t want to conspire with her. If one is not trust worthy to himself/herself, then he/she you will never be worthy of my trust.
So, let’s be more open, more truthful and less judgmental. This will help eliminate the confused state of mind most Ethiopians live in.